Open Question: Why do people treat me like crap?

[feedcrawler]

I have a bit of a dilemna (if you will). You see, it is like I am two people morphed into one (not bipolar). For some reason I just can't get along with people. At first glance (and a lot of people say this) it would seem as though I am nice to people, and a very friendly guy, yet, I can never seem to hold on to a friend. I am bullied (this is the main reason for the question), and I am not the best socializer, but yet, I know how to, and I help other people with their issues.I guess what I am trying to ask is, why am I always a target? WHy do people always pick on me when there are other kids around JUST like me?I'll describe my exact personage: I am a somewhat tall and fat kid (yeah, its possible. Tall = upper 5 foot region, fat = gut and butt). I am also black, and contrary to stereotypical belief, I am bad at sports but great at school. I am a debator on the school debate team. I like listening to Video Game music, reading, LEGOS (the indoor hobbies really, though I do like a good game of ultimate frisbee). MY voice is a little bit higher on the scale, and I am not the best at socializing with people. I really don't like people that much either in general, even though I try my best just to fit in. I admit that I annoy some people (the ones with soft hair. THat's my fetish, rubbing soft stuff. Usually they don't mind, but those who do, unless I know them, I stop). I am not hesitant to voice my opinions most of the time, and I am willing to dish it out as long as my adverseries are. I am a softy though (in public it takes a lot of metal strength to not cry in front of my bulies, because they say a lot of things that the teachers rarely stop. Also, I have a very low self-esteem and am very self-conscience. That has always been how I am, I really don't like people looking at me, though a lot of people say I love being the center of attention. However, this is not true.) THe only strange thing that I find odd is that I find it almost second nature to be able to talk to girls (I am a guy, if I haven't already stated). For the first few school years of mine, Girls outnumber guys like 11-1, so I knew a lot and talked to a lot of girls. I always feel more comfortable around females, and I tend to be able to express myself around them (unless I am infautated with them, because then I make myself look like more of an idiot than usual). Allright, now tha tI have described myself, lets move on. The school I currently attend is an all guy school, a college prep. Even though they say the purpose is to prepare us academically for college, my high school is the best sports school in the city. At one point, we were the champions for every single sport we had at that school. And, since I am not really an athlete, I am already differentiated. Also, at this school, since 95% of the school plays a sport, the only type of groups are based off either popularity, the school you went to with your friends before high school, or what extracurriculars you do. Since I am the only kid from my middle school, I don't have that type of group. Since you already know I am not popular, I don't sit with that group. And, since they are only 5 kids in my grade who is in debate (lunches are by class), I have no group to sit with there. So, I am alone at lunch most of the time, and I don't have a definite group to identify with. Freshman year I thought I did, because for once people were nice to me, and actually wanted to do stuff with me, until I realized they just wanted more time and ways to make fun of me. So, I definitely have to noone to identify with. Don't get me wrong, there are acquantices who I have a class with or something, but we are not really friends. Oh, and I have tryed telling the teachers, councils, the whole nine. THey believe we should solve the problem ourselve, which basically means go f*ck yourself, you're on your ownNow that we have the school situation taken care of, let's quickly do home life. My bro is in college, my mom and dad are at home with me. I have a bad relationship with my dad (he is biological, but I just don't like him. I used to as a kid, but one day I justed started hating him, and he continues to do things that seem so dumb that I hate him more. I do not like that man.). I have a better relationship with my mom. I mean, we argue and talk like any parent and kid, but I really love my mom, because to me she has been a mom and more of a dad to me than my dad was. As a kid, discipline was spankings, and I learned early to respect others, and do the right thing. Though the method may seem wrong, I learned good values. I don't think my house life lead to the way I am.With the few words I have left, I just want you guys opinions. I really don't like always feeling alone and hated. I play it off well at school, with my steel mask that says "I don't care". But I do, and I want your help.

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