Open Question: Why do I feel so sad after breaking up?

[feedcrawler]

I m a 34 yr old. I was engaged to a 27 yr old girl. we were engaged for a whole year we had real happy moments together.. however we went into a course of terrible arguments and disputes about our new house place.. also I was addicted to porn which affected the way I behave with her in negative way. she didn't know about porn addiction btw.. for the past few months I started to feel hate toward her.. hated our disputes.. hated her non-tolerance with me when I come to her few mins late.. started to hate even her looks.. her strange toes.. -specially I have foot fetish and her feet were not bueatiful to me!!- now she broke up with me.. it seems like how I felt reflected on her and how she also feels about me.. and despite all our disputes and despite all of her continuous criticism to me.. and despite the turn-offs I see in her beauty: I felt so sad.. I felt guilt.. I felt that despite her nagging attitude in the past months, I m responsible somehow for triggering that.. for being shallow about her toes.. for being selfish in my decision about our new house place.. for being addicted to porn without really trying to stop that before it ruined me and my engagement... I m confused I feel despite all of her flaws.. I m a really bad person.. and maybe God loves her enough to keep her away from me.. all is it just fine.. and feeling sad for breaking up is normal and doesn't mean I have feelings toward her...

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