I think i have anxiety... I worry about everything, i have loads of superstitions like i can't walk over three drains, i cant split the pole, i have to make sure both my feet are evenly walked on, you cant change sides when walking with me because its not even. Sometimes i walk to college and i feel fine... but when im nearly there I get a strange feeling in my stomach and start to panic. I keep telling myself it's just me being silly and by the time i get into college it eventually goes away. The feeling comes and goes throughout the day because of various things. The only way i can describe the feeling is really bad butterflies (almost painful, sickly butterflies). I get paranoid that people are talking about me all of the time (about what im wearing, what my hair and make-up looks like) im constantly looking in the mirror to make sure there is nothing wrong with me so no one can say anything bad to or about me. Im also really scared of serious relationships (i don't want to get hurt). i aways put on a show so my friends think im really confident because im scared what they might say if i wasn't. i can't really talk to anyone because i don't want people to think im crazy. most of my friends know about my little fetishes and we all just laugh them off, but they are really starting to make me worried that there is something wrong with me. i have tried everything... i draw, sing, drink, ive even resorted to drugs but they made it worse, now i just try to ignore everything i think but sometimes its so exhausting that it is easier just to think about it. Am i just being stupid??
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