Open Question: How can a repetative sinner get his or her own prayer answerd and still follow God?

[feedcrawler]

How can I follow God when I consistently lust, ask for forgiveness, then lust again the next day and even while lusting fall victim to masturbation? How can I follow God when I am basically addicted to daily masturbation to foot fetishes and various pornography of my interest? Inside, deep inside I know that what I am doing is wrong (which is why I feel guilt) I know that sin cannot be forgiven if one sins then continues to sin with the knowledge of what sin can bring about. I know that sin cannot be forgiven if one sins, repents meaningfully and sins the next day not knowing what he/she did. Since I have a sinful nature to continue to masturbate, and at times be enslaved by it, I always wish that time fly’s faster, and that I be married so that I can lose the sex drive that I have, however I cannot because I am only 18 and have not completed college or graduate school. How can I follow God when I second guess how He can help me with any situation? (yet I somewhat know that He can) I wish to have a good feature life and have a family of my own with the beautiful woman God gives me that I will find to be of my type, and most of all LOVE. I wish to be successful and hold a great career, I wish to also grow in wisdom, faith and strength, yet how can all of these things I wish for happen if I am struggling with what I have mentioned above? (Foot fetish, masturbation, porn) I even prayed about it and I see little change. Is it somewhat of a ‘gift’ from God that I find certain body parts of a woman attractive? I have had a ‘foot fetish’ since I was little and only to feet that attracted me, it only grew as the years went by. I also always feel left out when other guys have girlfriends and I don’t. I always feel that its because of the way I look or personality, but I’m not rude I’m more friendly and laid back if one gets to know me better, however the girls (typically the gorgeous ones) I have met have no patience and only look at me from the outside than the inside (I always see this as something that God allowed to happen as a way to punish me for my wrong deeds, it probably isn’t) when the majority of my guy friends see me for who I really am. Therefore how can I follow God when I always complain to my creator about why I have this quiet, laid back, humble type personality (and sometimes looks that don’t attract girls) when I see couples here and there? The Lord created everyone the same, yet each special (talents, looks, attributes etc) the Lord created me this way, the Lord gave me this heart and face. Yet I seem to not FULLY understand who I may meet that could bear with me, accept me for who I am. Therefore how can I follow God when I constantly worry about these things when I should only focus my heart on Him? I am an Orthodox Christian and accept Christ in my life. I do the best to live life the way He wants believers to do so, yet the only reason I ask these questions is because they linger in the back of my mind. The thought of why my faith seems to fail me lingers there as well. I love the Lord but I also have trouble with allowing flesh to get the very best of me. I also would rather this be somthing I battle on my own with God, for talking with people (even those I trust) is embarassing.Please give me some biblically wise and realistic input on this serious question. I know its long but its better to help a fellow Chirstian than let him/her suffer.THANK YOU

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