Open Question: How to coop with my depression of being single till now?

[feedcrawler]

i m a 32 yr old man, till now i m still single, and never been into a matual romantic relationship. i tried blind dating through friends and relatives of mine, i also tried online dating, and i dont know why i only meet hopeless un-beautiful girls through these meetings, actually it happened only once that one of these meetings went well, the girl was pretty and was senstive, however i was fool enough to drop the whole thing off, i dont know why i felt so afraid of really getting married to her.. (in my place dating is something considered as a serious step toward marraige)...through my life in college and work (more than 14 yrs) i proposed to a number of 6 girls i liked, all of them rejected me and in most cases my self-esteem was destroyed. and i approached a number of 8 girls, how seemed to like me too, but i never proposed or expressed the way i feel, i always found something that turned me off and made step back and keep my mouth shut.yet sometimes those 8 girls, sometimes i blame my self for not proposing to them, they were all great to me, sometimes i feel that i m afraid of getting married.. and thats why i choose impossible girls who i know deep inside that they will reject me, and step forward to propose to them.!!!!actually one of the girls i once approached and then stepped back is still available to me right now.. and i m thinking of proposing to her, actually she was a coleague of mine and the same age as mine, and i feel that i wasted most of my and her age because of my histation.. and i just have to move on.. i dont know..if you ask me what i m afraid of:1- i m afraid that my wife will not support me in hard times.2- i m afraid that my wife wont accept the fact that i have foot fetish, and it is a must for me to kiss her foot to go through the sex process. and even if she accepted i m afraid she might look me down and not respect me again3- i m afraid that my dick size wont satisfy my wife, i m 14-15cm dick size, which i found fits within the avarage range of 75% of world men, only 10% are better than me.. however i dont know why i have no confidence about it.4- i m afraid that i wont be able to support my family in the future, every thing is just getting more expensive..can you help me to put things in perspective?

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