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Old Feb 15th, 2011, 11:51PM, PST
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Default Open Question: Fetishes & Problems with Arousal During Intercourse?

Hi Everyone. This is quite a big step for me and represents my first attempt at "fixing" problems that I've allowed to grow inside my mind for almost 8 years. My problem is that the only things that turn me on are all fetish and BDSM related (e.g. submitting to women, feet etc.) and over the past few years I've found it impossible to maintain (sometimes even achieve) an erection in order to have regular, "conventional" intercourse with women. This is a huge issue because deep down inside I just want to be normal and have a girlfriend, be able to take a girl home if I ever meet her at a bar, and not constantly think of being sexually humiliated by women. I know this is something I've neglected for many many years and it has even ruined relationships I've had with truly great girls. Does anyone know what kind of steps I would need to take in order to change the way I derive sexual pleasure? I honestly don't want to live like this anymore and I need to lead a normal life, get married one day and have kids. The sad thing is that I'm a really charming guy and each time I meet a girl and we click, I need to make excuses so that we don't end up in bed, where I will 100% fail to stay hard for intercourse (because I've effectively trained my mind to get aroused by other not-so-conventional things). I would love to hear from anyone with experience or knowledge in this area. Thank you so much. Just another quick note - I'm not interested in finding a Dom. I've thought about this a lot (for years) and I only find myself in this position because I've allowed an addiction to grow. For me it is very important to find a solution to these issues. Thanks.

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