Open Question: Am i gay??? (Please Help!)?

[feedcrawler]

Im 18 and ever since i was 8 i always i felt like i had a attraction to men. Sexually, i am attracted to men although i still feel attraction to women( just not sexually ). I also have a very embarrassing and shameful male feet fetish; mens feet turn me on and i fantasize about them constantly. I sometimes fantasize about other men, but the idea of having sex is still a little weird ( though the thought of having sex isn't grosss) Lately i have been really worried about being gay, yet somewhere inside me i feel that i am in denial( if that makes sense). If i am gay, im worried that i won't be accepted by god and feel that i will be a disappointment to my family. I mean many preachers and family members say its a sin and an "abomination", so the idea of having to tell my family im gay is a very scary and worrying thought. Sometimes, although rarely, i have thoughts of suicide, because i feel like a freak or a "mistake" ( someone whom even God won't love). I am currently seeing a pshcologist for other reasons, yet whenever the question about sexual orientation is asked, i have a shill down my spine, a lump in my throat, and find it hard to share my feelings. Is it possible that I am straight and just going through a phase? or am i really gay? I know this may not make sense, but the thought of being gay is horrifying ,scary, and worrying, yet i feel almost like i want to be gay in a strange and psychotic way ( even though i feel terribly guilty of having these frequent feelings Anyways, what are your opinions?

More...