Open Question: Am I gay or do I just have some really messed up feelings?

[feedcrawler]

I think that Im gay. well actually I'm almost sure of it. I have a couple reasons to believe so but the one thing that makes me doubt is that when I saw some gay born I thought it was the grossest and nastiest thing that I'd ever seen in my life. I mean it was trife. And another thing is that to me guys are SOOOOO Hot and girls are just pretty or beautiful. I also could never see myself with a man past like 30 or something. Also, I really really want to get married (to a woman) and have my own natural kids but I also don't want to mess it all up. I definitely have a foot fetish for men's feet and also I like to be submissive only to men. Another thing is that I definitely cannot be Christian and gay because the bible says that it is an abomination for man to lie down with another man as though he were a woman and it also condemns being effeminate. I am very involved with my church (I'm Pentecostal) and an avid bible scholar. This gay thing is really depressing. I have never though about being with a girl in a sexual and I think that part of me just wants a wife so that I can "appear" to be normal. Also, I think that my youth pastor is hot which makes me feel really bad on Wednesdays when I go.

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